October Love List

Heya buddies, 

Another month of 2015 is over - these posts make me realise how fast the year goes. Freaky how with my posts being a Wednesday and Saturday and its the very last day of the month - like that seems like a great coincidence to me. 

Instead of freaking out that its nearly Christmas, lets reminisce and look back on this month.

What I Watched:

(Fave TV Programme or Film)

This month would have to be Suits. I started watching this a while back but then life got in the way and I couldn't spend days and nights watching all the seasons I had missed on Netflix. I am now just finished season 3 and am away to start season 4. Ever time I watch it, I realise I wound be useless as a lawyer. Harvey and Mike in a suit… mmmmm yes please! Screw Mr Grey, I want Mr Specter. You just got Litt up! 

What I Snapped:

(Fave Photo)

This would be the photo from an October walk me and Chris did on the Deeside Line in Aberdeen. It was a lovely warm day and all the colours were starting to change from the green to the autumnal golds and oranges. It was a 6 mile walk by the end of it so a very active day for me with my back. 

Who I Loved:

(Fave Person) 

Well this one is easy this month as on the 9th it was 4 years that this nutter decided he wanted to keep me in his life as his better half. We’ve been through so much together and I genuinely don't know what I would do without him. Its been one hell of a year so far but I know that with him by my side I will get through it. Soppy couple moment I know but its true. 

What I Wore:

(Fave Piece of Clothing) 

Favourite but not the most fashionable, my RGU sports hoodie. I am almost finished at uni but I have wanted to get this for a while cause I’m cool like that. It is so freckin comfortable and cosy! I don't care if its not in the fashion mags, if you were as comfy as I am now then you would love it too! Who doesn't love a big baggy hoodie?!

What I Ate:

(Fave Food)

FIVE GUYS - EASY! If you haven't tried it yet - do and you will  understand!

What I Heard:

(Fave Song) 

Fight Song by Rachel Platten. What a motivational tune this is. I heard it one day and loved the tune and then listened closer to the lyrics and BOOM fave song! It’ll come on either on my Apple Music playlist or the radio or even just in my head and I cant help but belt it out. Don't know much of her music but this is defiantly worth being on the Love List. 

What I Used:

(Fave Product)

I recently bought my first ever Urban Decay products and I am glad I am now an UD’r. I got two products but the one I am choosing to put in my Love List. The Urban Decay Eye Shadow Potion Primer in the shade Eden. I haven't used eye shadow primers before but was tempted as I found through out the day the colour on my eyes would fade or clump together - not a good look. Found the Urban Decay counter in Frasers in Glasgow and though - why not?! And here we are. I would defiantly recommend this if any one is having the same issues. There are a few different shades and even an anti-aging one so find whats best for you and the look you want. 

That was my October Love List. Do any of you have these love’s in common? Let me know!

Keep Smiling…

x

#beeyou 

Happy Hello's & Tuesday Fun

HELLOOO EVERYONE!

A very excited hello from a happy little me. So I don't really have a topic in mind for this post so I think I am just gonna do a wee post about what my weeks been like - particularly today. Which I guess would be yesterday for everyone as it is Tuesday night and this post will be going up tomorrow. 

Today I spent the day with some of my closest friends having a right old girly day bridesmaid dress shopping. Not for me before everyone wonders but for my friend Hannah whose sister is getting married. Now, I am not a huge dress shopper type of gal but I couldn't pass off the opportunity spending the day with some bestie getting one of them ready for an exciting day in her families life. 

I could go on about how the day was and what we did but it is pretty self explanatory. We went to shops and she tried on dresses. There was lots of pulling and pushing and trying to find heads in multiple layers of fabric. If you’ve ever tried on dresses, you will understand. 

I guess what I loved most about today was, for the whole day, I didn't once have a panic attack or think about everything that has been stressing me out. It was a totally chilled out day - yay! For anyone who is going through a difficult time I would absolutely recommend a girly day. Even if its not completely your thing, getting out and doing something and having fun has made me feel awesome. It felt easier cause the attention wasn't on me, it was on Hannah. This made it easy to relax more as I didn't have to worry about people asking me loads of questions or worrying about keeping a happy face, it was just me being me. Yawns and all. 

Back to work tomorrow for a 7 day stint but got a good bunch of friends that I work with so will be an awesome week. 

Hope you all have had an awesome week and look forward to the rest of it.

Checking in again on Saturday, hopefully!

Keep smiling..

x

#beeyou 

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Heya guys!

Hope you’re all well and good. Its been a busy old week as it feels like it is every week. Work, work, work is my main thing at the moment. Blessing and a curse I guess. Takes my mind off things but then, it takes my mind off things. Joys.

So, in my last post I spoke about happiness. Something that we can control. Like I said, easier said than done - totally get that. This post is going to be on decisions and decision makings.

Ask anyone who knows me, I struggle so much with making decisions. Even if its something as simple as choosing something for dinner, I just feel like I can’t do it. Unfortunately, life decisions include but are not restricted to dinner plans.  Every so often, you will come to a moment where a big decision needs to be made. If you are anything like me, this thought it terrifying. 

I am currently at a stage in my life where a big decision has to be made. This isn't the first time a big decision has come along but as I’ve been growing up, the decisions seem to become more important so therefore harder to make. Decisions like picking what subject to take for standard grade seemed easy when it came to picking my highers. Deciding what to do when school finished seemed near impossible to do at the time. It sounds mad but I find it easy to go along with what people suggest than try and figure out whats best for me - something that I, so far, have managed to get by with doing. Not anymore. 

Letting my decisions be ultimately made by others has not been the way I should have lived my life and I would encourage any of you who are reading this and finding you and myself have something in common to push yourself to make more decisions each day that are entirely yours. I haven't made decisions based on what I want and what would make me happy. When I reflect back on my life and some of the decisions that were made, it is easy to see how I tried to make the people around me happy as oppose to myself. Due to this, I am now having to make a decision that has to be 100% for me or else things may go very wrong. 

This blog, not just this post but this entire blog, is based around encouraging others to be themselves. Time for me to take some of my own advice. How can I encourage others to be themselves if I’m not being me? Time for change. 

Family and friends are always around to help support and offer advice on decisions but make sure we are all taking the time to think about what is best for ourselves. Its easy to take advice, go with it then find somewhere to point the blame at if everything doesn't work out just right. I would be lying if I didn't admit that is probably why I take peoples opinions and roll with them. 

So, while I am making this decision, I am finding it easiest to post my thoughts and feelings on here. Gives me time to think about what I wanting to say and why I am wanting to say it. 

Hope you all have a great week,

Speak soon,

Keep smiling..

x

#beeyou

Happiness

“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times. If one only remembers to turn on the light..” - Albus Dumbledore 

As a Harry Potter fan, Dumbledore’s wise words of wisdom will always pop into my head when needed. This quote I found quite fitting for this post…

When you type “being happy” into the grand old  Google search, the top results are articles like;

- 10 Ways to be Happy

- 12 Ways to Keep a Happy Life

- 25 Things That Are Preventing You From Being    Happy

I was looking online and was fed up of seeing lists like this telling us how to be happy or trying to make us the reason as to why we aren't and what we could do to make it right. 

Happiness isn't something we can measure by crossing things off a list and expecting our lives to take some unexpected turn to happiness. One thing that comes up repeatedly when reading these or talking to people and asking how they can be happy are based around achievements. Goals such as earning more money, getting a bigger house, more respect at work, finding “The One”. Understandable goals and things to aim for in life and you can easily see why people will think these things can make them happy. When you flip it into worries of the day they usually revolve around these issues. Money, work, possessions and love. 

Now, I would be straight out lying if these weren't worries I had and goals I want to work towards. Who wouldn't want more money or having someone to share your life with - if you find someone send them my way to share their tips! Where I struggle with these is that people measure them against how happy they are. There is the phrase; “Money can’t buy you happiness” followed by; “Yeah but it can buy you a penguin. Have you ever seen a sad person who owns a penguin?”. Of course money can buy you things that will be a quick fix but in the long term - it wont necessarily make you happy. Happiness isn't something we should measure by the most money or the longest relationship or even the new promotion at work. Happiness is something that is inside us and that we have the controls over no matter what is going on around us. For example, today I have spent all day inside watching TV and wondering how I am going to cope until payday with less that £30 in the bank. Awful right? Wrong. I have spent the day in some jogger bottoms, a comfy hoodie, no bra watching chick flicks and the rugby with Chris. In my eyes, bliss! Yes I am worried about money and know I would have been doing something else had it been pay weekend but its not made me any less happy today. 

This post isn't to be a telling off to people and saying I do things better. All it I am trying to say is that we can make each and everyday end with a smile if we find and remember the reasons we smile at the little things. 

To end on another quote;

“I am in charge of how I feel today and today I am choosing happiness” - Unknown

Keep smiling..

x

#beeyou

Just Breathe...

Hey everyone,

Again - its been a while. Thank you to all the readers for checking out my page even while its been quiet. Things as usual have been hectic and for the first time in my life I experienced something I have heard about and seen on websites and TV but never been affected by it myself - a panic attack. 

I didn't really know what it was when it was happening. I have a big decision to make and time is running out to make it. It’s been a good couple of months since I’ve known about what may happened but I’ve just been burying my head in sand - FYI, not a good move. There have been a few times in the past month where someone has brought something up about it and I got a sense of claustrophobia and an increase in breathing rate. I didn't really think anything of it and just carried on. I knew I was nervous and I suffer from asthma so thought it would just be the combination of the two that affected me. 

Then a couple of weeks ago the thought of time running out caught up with me. I had a conversation with my family and it didn't go very well on my side. That evening was when the full on panic attack happened. I was lying in bed, trying to get to sleep so I could forget about everything and I got asked the simple question of “how are you feeling?” and I don't remember much else in-between. I got suddenly felt really sick, my breathing increased. It was as though the fight or flight response had started. I wanted to run and hide but I felt completely stuck. My body tensed and I felt really cold so started shivering but I was warm. I couldn't talk, I couldn't think. I wanted to cry but couldn’t. It lasted about 10-15 minutes although felt like hours. 

When my breathing slowed and my body started to relax my mind was still reeling. Even to this day I feel my heart rate and breathing increase. I had never experienced anything close to this before in my life. I wondered if it had been a panic attack but felt like I couldn't label it with a term I know can be thrown about. I spoke to a few of my closest friends and, of course, Chris who thought it could have been. I am tempted to phone and make a doctors appointment, I need to about my back anyway so could throw the two together I guess. 

I know this has been quite a personal post, the joy of having a blog is it gives you the opportunity to put whats going on in your head and life on paper (well, almost) and relieve some of the anxiety around it. As my Grampa used to say, “A worry shared is a worry halved”. 

Ending my post as I always do, as a reminder to myself as well as to anyone who reads this..

Keep smiling..

x

#beeyou